An implosion conspiracy. Dayglo all week
long. Spray can building intricate designs
of snake. The higher the wall the better.
Harrow hell if you wish. You can always
use the bodies. He sees them flying out
of earth. Flesh shot from guns. They
could be coming from heaven. The devil
wasn’t sure. This book flames. Word torch.
In the corner is a shema. The first person
has been obliterated. Who is that man
with the flower coming out of his ass?
For God’s sake let this be a painting.
The whole thing was a decay factory.
Madness feeding amonst the lillies.
-
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john mann poems 
For this style the more stripped the better–“nouns doing” Conventional syntax can sound like a list of cliches. I get away with it because I write prosey poems. I don’t think you can get away with it. Drop “An” in first sentence and let the poem lurch a little. “Dayglo all week long” interrupted my read. Does “Dayglo” become a verb or a noun? Your best poems always have some lyricism. This one borders on “dry” in that aspect but your language is appropriate. “For God’s sake” is quotidian. If you’re going to go there I think it best to get a little profane i.e. “For Christ’s sake.” Drop “Madness” and replace with anything but. “Murder” is fine. So is “death.” Madness was getting tired in the 19th and the Beats nailed its coffin in the 20th. I.M.H.O.! Keep trucking my prolific friend~