Of joy. Leaves. Sun-
stilled air. Cut fields
littered with geese.
Squirrels work those pouches.
A thousand songbirds
obliterate the neighborhood.
Lie down under a tree.
Watch the shower of walnuts.
A storm bowls a line or two.
After, alleys of blood.
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john mann poems 
The poem, itself, is very sweet. I’m on a theme here, however. The “trademarking” of your poems can distract. They lock the reader into a 3rd person frame of mind–sometimes. Also, the use of imprecation as a device can distract, especially when a series or list of noun phrases would do better. By the way, don’t take that advice for this particular poem where it works nicely! In my previous comparison of your work to John Barrymore I found more pronominal shifting. He addresses himself, or Mr. Bones, or, it’s Mr. Bones addressing him. Sometimes we are not entirely sure who is addressing whom. I also note that he numbers his poems to avoid setting things up for the reader who can then be taken by surprise. For this poem, I think it’s lovely. The above is an overview for a dozen previous poems.
This is a particularly good and useful response. I think about this. It is very possible to fall into a pattern and that can become a trap. Thanks–always a pleasure to be so carefully and kindly read.
On to the Saturday snow!
John
On Friday, November 14, 2014, john mann poems wrote:
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