Here we are at the edge
of the river. Eagles high
in the trees watch for fish.
On one side is the world.
On one side is the bright rift
of creation. We mine
the chasm, descending
again and again. We breathe
in and breathe out. We
decide on behalf of earth.
On one side is the body.
The lungs, the blood are voice.
I like the poem. It is accessible with a clear emotional focus. I do not understand your line breaks at all. Why break a line rhythmically in thrall to a form that has no particular contextual benefit? I say be free to use a longer line, unless, of course, your line breaks denote a particular link to the poem’s message?